Logan Patrick Sevin
January 14, 2010
7lbs. 4 oz.
Chris and I could hardly sleep Wednesday night. We were both full of every emotion you could imagine. I laid in bed from 2:00am - 4:30 am just thinking about the events that were about to unfold. Chris said he was up from the time we went to bed until about 2:00am, then finally fell asleep until the three alarms we had set went off at 4:30. We both got up and got dressed, and gather the last of the things we needed around the house. I double, then triple checked the "Don't Forget" list that was attached to the door. We arrived at Northside about 6:30 am and Katie, one of my best friends from middle school who is a labor and delivery nurse, greeted us at the sign in desk. We got checked in and waited in the waiting area until the pre-op nurse came to get us. My Dad showed up just a few minutes later and my water works (as well as his) began. It was such an emotional time! The pre-op nurse came to get us and we walked back to the pre-op room. I got changed into the hospital gown and hooked up on the monitors. Chris was busily taking pictures of EVERYTHING! It was about 7:15 when everyone began showing up in the pre-op room to wish us luck. I think this is everyone, but forgive me if I forget: my mom, Steve, Susan, Ronnie, my dad, my brother, my cousin Melanie, and her husband Scott.
They told me they were going to do my epidural at 8:00 and surgery would be at 8:30. Those were the longest minutes of my life. The anticipation was so emotional for me, I literally could not stop crying. Once I got the epidural, I was shaking like crazy. Add the non stop tears, and I'm sure I probably looked like a mess. Chris was my rock. He was so supportive and kept reassuring me that everything was going to be fine, and we were about to meet our little boy. It was so great having Katie there with me too. She was able to explain everything to me, and keep my mind off the surgery. Right at 8:30, I was wheeled back to the operating room, and Chris, in his little scrubs, had to wait outside for a few minutes while they got me set up. I remember laying on the table, arms to my side shaking like crazy, and of course, still crying. Then Chris came in and sat down right by my head, behind the screen. We talked to each other while they began the c-section. I remember feeling lots of pressure, and pulling. The next thing I knew, I felt my stomach "deflate" (for the lack of a better word). It was the craziest feeling, it literally felt like my stomach had been emptied. Amongst the most precious sound in the world, Logan's firsts cries, the Doctors yelled out, " It's a Boy!", " Here's Baby Logan", and "Dad, stand up and take a picture." Chris, a little caught off guard and a little in shock, stood up and blindly pointed the camera over the curtain towards the baby. He captured the most amazing picture I think I have ever seen. (The picture at the top of this post). The doctor's then walked the baby around so I could see him, and handed him off to the nurses to assess and clean up. It all happened so quickly, but I remember seeing him covered in the white vernix, flinging his arms and legs around, as if to say, " Put me back in!" Chris went over to where they nurses took him to take a few pictures, and Katie stayed with me. A few minutes later they let Chris bring Logan over to see me. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes on. He was all bundled up so I couldn't see all of him, but his face was so beautiful and boy did he have some hair. Katie took a few pictures of the three of us, and then I heard some news that crushed me. The nurse came over and told me that they were having to take Logan to the transition nursery right away due to his breathing. Now, we had been warned that this would be a possibility due to the fact that he was a c-section and that he was 37 weeks. However, no matter how many times you hear it, actually seeing them take your baby away and not knowing how he was doing was devastating. So, with a few second visit and one quick sweet kiss, they took him away to the transition nursery. Chris was able to go tell our family that Logan had arrived, and the news that they had taken him to the transition nursery. The doctors finished with me, and then I was wheeled into the recovery room. This is a large room with little curtains as dividers between each patient bed. There were four or five other moms in the room when I was wheeled in. As I laid in the bed, thinking about everything that had just happened and wishing my baby was in my arms or laying on my chest, I became even more emotional (if that was possible). I was able to look around the room and see all the other mommies with their babies right there with them, but I was there without my baby and I had no information on him. A few minutes later Chris came down to me in recovery and let me know he had been with Logan and had some news. He said Logan was grunting and breathing too quickly when he came out, so they were giving him oxygen to try to help him. He then showed me a picture of Logan, the card that goes in his bassinet with all of his information and his foot prints. I just kept staring at the picture, in disbelief that this beautiful baby was actually mine. I asked Chris how long they were going to keep him, and Chris explained that they weren't sure yet, but it would be at least 2 hours, and if it was greater than 6, he would have to be admitted. Just thinking about being away from my new baby for two hours killed me, and yes, of course I was still crying uncontrollably. I told Chris to go stay with Logan, because he needed his Daddy, and Katie offered to stay with me in recovery. Did I mention how lucky I am to have a friend like Katie?
A few hours later, I was wheeled into my regular room, but still without my baby. My family was able to come and visit me at this point, but it wasn't the same without Logan with me. We got several updates about Logan while we were waiting. They had to put an oxygen helmet on this head to provide additional oxygen to him, a feeding tube was placed down this throat to provide some formula because his blood sugar was low, and a chest x-ray was done. Dr. Royal, one of the pediatricians at PAMPA, was on call, so she was our communication source. Around 4:30 she called to say she thought the first chest x-ray showed a collapsed lung, so she ordered a second with a different view. She called back about an hour later to tell us that the x-ray came back completely normal, and that she had just gotten off the phone with the nurse from the transition nursery and Logan was doing much better and was completely off the oxygen. You have no idea the relief I felt, knowing that my baby was okay and would soon be coming to me. Around 5:30 the nurse called to let me know she was giving him a bath, and he should be to the room around 6:00. I was so tired my eyes were crossing, but I couldn't sleep and didn't want to for fear I might miss him coming in the room. Chris and I had asked everyone to leave the room when he arrived, so that we could enjoy some family time, getting to know our baby. After 9 1/2 hours of having my baby and then not seeing him, he came rolling through the door right around 6:00 pm. As soon as I heard the wheels of the cart, I lost it. The nurse wheeled him right next to me, and scooped him right up and handed him to me. I remember looking at Chris, who at this point was in tears, and thinking, "Finally, we are all together. It's going to be okay." We spend about thirty minutes just the three of us, holding each other, kissing each other, and just staring at this beautiful miracle we made together.
That was the beginning of our life story and it gets better every single day. It has only been three days, and I can't imagine life before him. He is the most wonderful and beautiful baby, and Chris and I are truly blessed that God chose us to be Logan's parents.