"Miracles take time, but trust in the God who holds time in His hands along with your written name" - Kristen Strong
I walked into work this morning and flipped my inspirational calendar to the next day as I always do. As I stood there reading today's quote, I had a feeling of peace pass over me. I knew as soon as I read the above quote, that I was going to get the news I was afraid of getting at the doctor, but that it was going to be okay.
I still had some crazy, teeny since of hope when I arrived at the doctor, but I knew what was coming. We had to wait for quite a while until the ultrasound tech called us back. The tech asked me how I was feeling and if I had been feeling since (implying that I was having morning sickness). I explained our situation to her and she was very sweet and reassured us that no matter what we saw it would be okay.
She showed us the screen where we quickly saw that there was just an empty gestational sac on the screen. There was nothing inside, just empty. She asked if we were sure about our ovulation date, because she said the sac was measuring at 5 weeks 6 days. I told her I had been charting and was positive about my date and I would be 6 weeks and 5 days, which would show a baby and most likely a heartbeat. I then got dressed and Chris and I waited while the tech wrote up a quick report for the doctor.
We saw Dr. H, who was nothing less of amazing, and made me feel so much better. He clearly and simply explained that this pregnancy was not progressing. He explained that the best option would be to have a d and c, which is an out patient procedure in which they go in remove the pregnancy tissue from the uterus. He explained that I could wait for my body to natural expel the pregnancy, but it could take weeks. Since we want to be able to move on and try again, we opted for the d and c as he suggested.
I have it scheduled for Friday and feel very at peace with this decision. I know that God has a plan for our family and will bless us with a healthy baby at the perfect time. I love the fact that my relationship that I have built with God over the last year has helped me through this tough time. I know that even in the sad times, God is there and He is holding my hand and letting me know that He loves me.