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Monday, September 16, 2013

Month 2....I'm Confused

I have been charting and temping again this month (control freak), so that I know exactly when I ovulate.  I did this when I was trying to get pregnant years ago.  Instead of guessing what your body is doing, you can actually tell the exact date of ovulation based on your basal body temperature. 
So, I found out I ovulated and I have been patiently waiting to take a pregnancy test.  Most information says you can test at the earliest 9 days after ovulation.  I, of course, tested bright and early day 9 and about died when I saw a very faint line.  I knew it was early so I didn't get my hopes up.  I tested again the next morning at 10 days after ovulation and the line was a little darker, but still very light.  The idea is the further along you are in your pregnancy, the darker the line should be (for the first few days until the hcg hormone builds up).  I also tried a digital test that says either, "pregnant" or "not pregnant" and it was negative.  I didn't think too much since I am still very early, and decided just to wait and continue testing.  Today, 11 days after ovulation, I tested and I can barely see anything.  It's much lighter than yesterday and Monday's tests.  When the test came up, I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach.  I tried another digital test with the same urine and those words "not pregnant" stung quite a bit as I read them.  I remembered I drank a TON of water yesterday, like more than 3 liters, and I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, so I calmed myself down a little bit.  Maybe the urine was too diluted from all of the water I drank?  Maybe peeing in the middle of the night caused the hcg to not be as concentrated as true first morning urine??   I looked up my chart from when I found out I was pregnant with Logan and saw I didn't actually get a positive pregnancy test with him until 12 days after ovulation. 
My fear is that the test is lighter because I am not producing the hcg hormone anymore.  In this case, it would be known as a chemical pregnancy.  That means, the egg was fertilized, but did not implant or stay implanted.  Basically, it is a very, very early miscarriage.  Apparently, this is very common in women, and it seems to be recognized more since the tests are now able to detect the hormone in such small amounts.  So you get a positive test, or a few, but then, you get negative tests and go on to have your "period", which is actually a miscarriage.

I decided to go ahead and call my doctor's office and ask the nurse her opinion since I knew I wouldn't be able to think about much else all day.  I have my annual appointment scheduled next week anyways, and wanted to see if she thought I should come in early and get her opinion of the much lighter test. After 4 long hours, she finally called back and left a message to come in today just to get the blood work done and we could go from there.  So, I packed Logan up and headed into the doctor's office for a quick blood test.  The nurse told me they would check my thyroid level, since this has to be closely monitored during pregnancy, my progesterone level, and my hcg numbers.  I had these numbers checked last time with Logan.  Basically, the hcg number needs to double ever 48 hours.  I'm hoping the hcg is detected in the blood test and I can go back Friday to have them checked again. 

So, that's where we stand now.  I know this is all in God's hands and it will turn out the way it is suppose to.  I can't help but want this baby so badly and I'm just really hoping all is fine and I am just still really early. 

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